As I leave this place

The hardest things I have gone through in my life happened here. My heart broke into million pieces and I still collected all the traces and mended it all over again. I used to believe in a happy world. Where people tried to be kind. I used to think I was the weird one everywhere. And if I tried hard enough, I can understand everyone.

But here I have seen the worst sides of people. As I tried to adjust to their standards, their standards fell deeper and deeper. So how could I still understand them when all I could see was a black dot from where I stood. My morals were too high to go further underground.

It’s not like I liked everyone I have met until now. I used to think some people are bad. But this was beyond my expectations. And adults around me told me why I took everything personally. Maybe I was wrong. I used to pour my heart into each and every thing. I always tried to be so sincere that it hurt. It hurt so bad to see that people can be so conniving even if I gave my everything to them.

And there was absolutely no reason behind their actions. So I hope I always remember it’s not you it’s them. And when people were being crushed under this stressful drill, their kindness took a backseat. They became so self absorbed, that others maybe breaking down from inside, but no one cared. I hope I would handle all this stress in my future without losing my own colour. I hope I still remain as naive as I was before entering this place. Because I would never want to hurt people like they hurt me. I hope I never become so self absorbed, that I can’t see other’s pain.

And I am so afraid. So afraid that things can go worse than this. Because as I proceed further in my life, people become more and more difficult. And the world becomes less and less kind. I hope this is the end. I hope I don’t have to meet such people again. I am more experienced now but I didn’t want this experience. Why did I have to witness this dirty world. I hope I can make this world a better place. If not the whole world, I hope I can make it happier for atleast the people around me. And I still wish to remain as naive and foolish as I was before this. But I don’t think my fears would let me do that. Why do we have to grow up like this? It’s just sad.

But amidst all this sadness, I still had people around me. People who could not help me but still stood by my side and didn’t let me drown. I hope I remember all these good people too. People who want to see me happy, so that when all this stress takes a toll on me again, I know I will never drown.