After experiencing life a bit, I have observed that more than often people like to put me in brackets in order to understand me more. Or just to make it easier to deal with everyone else. Like, I know for sure, that most people who have ever met me would like to describe me as the quiet one or nerdy one, or maybe oversensitive one. The world is filled with people putting tags on each other. We always try to define people in mere words. However, we are people and not just things; we change every day. One day you stumble upon a stone and fall, the next day you will learn to watch your step. Some people may change slower than others, but nonetheless, they are changing. And by putting tags we might be limiting ourselves to explore the infinite possibilities in the world awaiting us.
This used to be so overwhelming when I was younger. Teachers would put tags on students- she is the nerdy one, she will get good marks and other is good at sports and public speaking is another one’s forte. I am not trying to say that everyone can be good at everything. I know everyone has a special talent for something and it feels great to be recognized for your talent. But somehow, this society puts far too much pressure on winning which often discourages us to do things we are not the best at. I realized pretty late that I can still do things I feel good about without being the best at it. After so many efforts, I am still hesitant to do those things in public. I suck at dancing and singing, so people were like those are not your cup of tea. You do so well in your studies, you should always get good marks. But I love when I can sing my heart out. Nowdays I have been trying to sing unapologetically no matter how bad it is. Just because someone gave me the tag of a bad singer, my definition has not been set in stone.
And it gets worse when people always expect you to react according to their definition. Like this one time, I was having fun at some party and was being cheerful, and a colleague goes “you are talking so much today, you should speak up often”. Or whenever I make a joke about something, people who don’t know me enough would get incredibly surprised. They had already judged that I cannot make intelligent jokes as I am terribly quiet. I know it’s hard for people too when we do not express ourselves too much. They need to understand the reason behind our actions. Still, we introverts just need little time and space before we open up. But before we reach that level, most of the people have already decided on a role for us in their lives. They create boundaries which are too clear to be crossed. So, often I decide to remain as the quiet ones in their lives forever.
But there are times when people act differently than those stupid tags we give them. They are just too tired to even try to fit in and that ends up hurting people around them. I was going through a heartbreak yesterday after I came to know about a different side of the music band I follow. I know maybe I am too emotionally invested in them. But I cried so hard after learning that they were trying so bad to break out of the image or the expectations, this world had imposed on them, myself included. At some point, it’s just reflex action to categorize people. It just gets too cumbersome to think about every possible way people can act. We like to automatically decide that other person can react only a certain way. And I don’t think it’s that wrong of people to do that. This society always likes to put rules and regulations to maintain order. Yet we cannot always act as we please for the sake of other people too. Still, I think I am going to atleast try to be less biased when it comes to meeting new people. I will try to give my friends more space than this stupid burden of expectations. Because I have seen extreme reactions from my own friends when I tried to break out of my tags. So won’t it be easier for everyone if there were no tags at all? Everyone can behave anyhow as long as it does not hurt other people. And of course, it will hurt others as long as the boundaries of their expectations are too tight. I guess there is no in-between, it’s better to just stay away from such people!¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Librocubicularist soul 