Abyss

And just like that another day passed
Passed like the wind on my face
While I was just peeking out of the backseat of a car
And I just feel a bit heavier today

Is it the anxiety trying to bog me down again
Or just some motion sickness on my way to happiness
But as soon as I leave this moment
It seems like all the happiness was in the past

Why can’t I gracefully descend to the future?
Like that graceful river sparkling with dreams of the sea
I look back and the ever-growing nostalgia haunts me
Like precious memory of someone who is no more

Too worried to leave important bits and pieces of present
I just can’t seem to grasp everything in these tiny hands
Something always slips down into the past’s abyss
And I am lying here wondering if the cycle ends

This continuous exercise of self-love and happiness is wearing me down
Maybe I should just sit here and truly understand my sadness
But why does everything has to go
It seems, in reality, happy endings hurt too.