Love

Learnt you have to call them up
Be kind to people
Let them have space
Be more observant
Just because someone was kind enough to me,
I learnt kindness.


In this world where love comes in measurements
I learnt to love from people who love selflessly
A little bit less or a lot more never existed
Just because I can, I will, gives peace immeasurable.
Yeah there are people who break my heart
They will always be there to empty out the love
But nobody can dare empty out an ocean
Yeah I can always flood when overwhelmed
But I hope I still would wish for their peace eventually.

Celebrating 2022

This year one of the major takeaways for me has been to be grateful. Grateful for all of the things which we take for granted. It has been such a bittersweet year for me. The first half was more like a life lesson that I won’t ever forget. And the last bit of the year has brought me so much of joy that I started believing in life again. I know life may not be this quick to provide solutions every year. I hope the memory stays as a proof to believe in life even when things go wrong.

As we step into 2023, I am scared of what heights I will reach. I am scared of ruining it all. But I think this fear comes with possessing something valuable. And I would like to believe that the most valuable thing I possess is my self-belief. I hope atleast this does not change with the changing year. At last, I am just grateful for this year. For being kind enough to let me survive. And yes, I did survive with a smile.

I had trips, both kinds,
I got hurt and I saw the world
I got messed up and got up again
I dreamt and then undreamt
And what do you mean by kind
I mean the people I met
What do you think when I say belief
I think about me
Learning, unlearning, and relearning
All happened this year
And I hope it stays the same
It’s okay for it to be stagnant sometimes
But I don’t have the strength for ocean depths

A pinch of life

I feel incomplete as days go by
As if I left parts of me in this puzzle of life
A dash of wonder in that school library
A pinch of laughter in that college canteen
And sprinkles of giggles in that hostel room
Most importantly the comfort of familiarity back home

These days as I travel to my workplace every morning, I have too much time to stare out of the window and nurture useless thoughts. My mind wanders to places farther than that airplane that I spot from my window. Maybe that is an international flight and I give too much credit to my mind. But I don’t know why I tend to remember my best memories in that short period (it’s almost 1 hour though).

There isn’t even a shred of doubt regarding my feelings for my current workplace. It has been like a dream come true for the past one month. It feels like I belong here. And that is something I rarely feel. I genuinely wish to get up every morning feeling the same spark that I have felt for this past month. There hasn’t been a single day when I felt like sleeping in and missing work. I know after a few months I will feel like that most probably. So I want to document this to remind me of the days when I was brimming with passion. I just want to establish a strong foothold for the future me before I get too deep into this never-ending cycle that might become just a routine one day.

But I don’t know why feeling this good about a place feels like cheating on the other best places I have ever been to. It is not that deep, but it makes me look forward to how much happier I can be. All the hardships I faced during the past few months seem to be fading away these days. And this sometimes makes me worry that I might start taking all this for granted after some time. I know I have to make up for all the kindness shown by everyone around me and give my hundred percent to this new job. That means I should work way harder than I am now. So, let’s end this honeymoon phase with beautiful memories and mix a pinch of discipline in all that passion I have been feeling. Because someone told me- “great is just good mixed with ten percent extra effort”. And I want to go that extra mile now that I am already here. I hope I can look forward to more happy days filled with self-satisfaction as we inch toward the end of this beautiful year.

Home ( A Cadralor)

1.
I open the gates to shimmering lights
Walk down the stores full of flowers so bright
Joy seems spreading like a picture larger than life

2.
Wake up soon, the sun is up too
Early morning dreams about to come true
I see everyone together just as I drew

3.
Colours are important don’t you miss them
I shout orders to bring those sweets well
They go outside only to return soon

4.
Its tiring how much I still have left to do
The smell is too sweet, did I add cardomom too?
Stirring the magical heaven as I get rid of all that gloom

5.
And just like that the table is set, looking forward to true bliss
The rangoli adorns the entry to a home where nobody is missed
With holy chants and pretty lamps, this autumn’s Diwali is again the best.

Diwali is a Hindu festival celebrated generally in October or November (excuse me for not knowing the name of the months according to the Hindu calendar, my teachers taught me well but I guess I was not a good student). It is my favourite festival, since everyone’s home and we get to eat so many sweets. You should definitely try Indian sweets, nothing can beat them in my opinion, not even the holy chocolate! (though I love chocolates too). And overall it’s a festival of lights so we decorate everything with fairy lights, but you should never forget those beautiful earthen lamps. I love putting those diyas at every corner of the house and making sure, they are still burning until I give in to sleep. There is so much more meaning to this festival but I will write about it in detail some other time.

But I absolutely cannot miss rangolis. I love making rangolis. I have used the picture of last year’s rangoli as the featured image to give an idea of what it looks like. It is an art form made of coloured sand or powdered colours and the design is up to you. So every year my sister and I brainstorm together to come up with a good design only to switch it up last minute because we are getting late for the puja. I don’t believe in praying but since I have been doing it since I was a kid, it feels only natural to pray together on Diwali. And just like that, I get another day full of happy memories, good food, and giggles all around.

To live on

I remember once again
As I sit here drenched in the rain
With every part of my soul soaked to the core
Drowning every sorrow, stripping me off this load
Smiles don’t tire me out anymore
And lungs seem to be running out of air
But my heart feels so full
So full but so light
The heavy dreams or grieving themes
Float away freely in those paper boats
And the only one remaining is me in this moment
And I realize once again
For such moments I live on

I cannot say that monsoon is my favourite season, but I must admit I love the rain ( if enjoyed from the comfort of my home obviously). I find myself looking forward to those heavy rains every summer with a shine in my eyes. Of course, I am privileged enough that I do not have to worry about negative consequences which sometimes do come along with heavy rains. But I love it when all I can see is just rain falling and soaking everything in sight. And getting soaked in the rain is one of my favourite feelings. The type of rain in which I can’t even open my eyes for too long, still everything seems much prettier. Maybe it’s just that my vision is clouded in the literal sense. But I do have fond memories of dancing in the rain with my sister. Now that the monsoon is over, I will have to wait for another year for making a new set of memories. I hope I can still feel the same happiness next year too.

By the way, have you ever seen rain approaching? It was just last year when it was raining right in front of me, but I was standing a few centimeters away completely dry staring in disbelief. I think I was too stupid, that I had never imagined that rain has got to end somewhere. But I found it quite an amusing sight, standing on edge of the rain. Then to make me feel even more ignorant, my parents told me their tales about racing with the rain when they were young. Apparently, they saw the approaching rain too often in the countryside where they grew up. And I was so jealous that I never got to experience that. The most rain I saw was from my balcony or rooftop with those city lines in the background. I hope I get to race with the rain atleast once in my lifetime.

Daydreams

“Write when the happiness strikes.” I have more than often used this line to describe my inspiration to write. I don’t know why but writing just humbles me down when I am brimming with overflowing emotions. Like it is the storehouse for all the excess things I am feeling and can’t handle. I am always thankful that I discovered this channel to release so much pressure I unnecessarily build upon myself. Maybe it is the pressure that expectations create when happiness strikes the door. Expectations to be even happier in the future. Or expectations that things will change for the better only. And I am the biggest daydreamer I have ever known. Maybe my circle is just too small. But I just need one word to build a whole cobweb of stories around it. You all must have guessed by all that talk about how I want to be when I grow old. I even daydream about old age. Sometimes there is too much rush in my head. Writing things down helps to somehow arrange that clutter. I haven’t realized any of my daydreams till now. Not completely. I don’t know if all the things that go around in my head will come true one day or not. But I hope I keep on dreaming about happier moments only.

Continue reading “Daydreams”

Fairy lights are prettier in the dark

Fairy lights always bring back memories of childhood. The good old times when I did not know that terms like environment friendly exist. I was always awestruck by the brilliance of the glittering lights which made everything seem beautiful. Now, I would give away every fairy light to just admire a sky full of stars.

Continue reading “Fairy lights are prettier in the dark”

Blunt or Kind

I recently stumbled upon a readers’ block. I had started a new job and it required me to travel three to three and half hours daily. On top of that the work there was really hectic and I only got one day off per week. And as anyone would expect, I spent that one day just sleeping and eating. But I missed books badly.

Continue reading “Blunt or Kind”

Leisurely mornings

When the sun rises but you are in no hurry.

When all the birds are chirping but you have no worry.

When the whole world is running at full speed but you are just sitting at your rest stop.

When even earth is spinning to complete it’s rotation to reach the night.

What a gift it is to just sit on our bed holding your blanket tight.

Taking in all the beauty this moment holds trapped in the rays of sunlight

Oh what a bliss these mornings are when everything is alright!

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