Tag: #life

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The Blue

Flying above the clouds these days
The little girl doesn’t seem to be fazed
When a crack of voice used to scare her
She seems to speak her mind unfazed

Still, there are oceans to cross
The winds still blow across
And her steps still a little wobbly
She is managing with a smile across

The dilemma never seems to stop
To be nice or to be right
With still ocean depths to discover
She stares at the surface with fright

Yeah, she already dipped her feet right in
The water was cold and fish seemed unfriendly
And she is no mermaid to swiftly swim accross
But she does crave for the blue to last

No matter how serene the water seems
It is full of creatures that deceive
And again the dilemma looms across
To be nice or to be right; would you decide, please?

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The Hustle

I have to accept I have been more or less inactive for the past few months. Too much has been going on in my life to even acknowledge this simple fact. I changed jobs, and met so many new people. Made friends and unfriended some. I guess this is how the adult life goes on. And I am at my peak. And I don’t even have time to sit down and realize how to take it all under control.

And sometimes I just find myself completely shut down to the outside world. Like I don’t even care if someone is lying to me or if someone I once cared about cheats. I just don’t have the time or energy for that. And it hurts much lesser. But the mere thought that I don’t care anymore is kind of unsettling. Why have I become like this? Am I healing or just getting worse?

When I was younger, I used to think about every single conversation I had in my entire day over and over again. But nowadays, I just feel tired at the end of the day and sleep. No anxious nights anymore, but still I am not happy. I am much more independent now. And because of this, I simply walk out of the situations I don’t like. I am earning better, so I don’t have to think twice about going to a fancy restaurant or buying nice shoes. But I used to crave those things earlier. And now that it is much easier to have them, those things do not excite me that much. They are just another task that needs to be completed.

And I still do not feel good enough for my job. One or another way I find something which disappoints me. I can’t talk enough or can’t make friends that easily. That small talk which helps people develop professional relationships feels useless to me. I just hate fake relationships limited to good mornings and good evenings. I want to talk about your family, how do you manage to do things smoothly and how did you survive when things got tough. People tell me that I have to start with small talk to reach that level. But somehow, that just doesn’t makes sense to me. Or maybe since I am an adult now, I think I can just run away from uncomfortable situations.

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A pinch of life

I feel incomplete as days go by
As if I left parts of me in this puzzle of life
A dash of wonder in that school library
A pinch of laughter in that college canteen
And sprinkles of giggles in that hostel room
Most importantly the comfort of familiarity back home

These days as I travel to my workplace every morning, I have too much time to stare out of the window and nurture useless thoughts. My mind wanders to places farther than that airplane that I spot from my window. Maybe that is an international flight and I give too much credit to my mind. But I don’t know why I tend to remember my best memories in that short period (it’s almost 1 hour though).

There isn’t even a shred of doubt regarding my feelings for my current workplace. It has been like a dream come true for the past one month. It feels like I belong here. And that is something I rarely feel. I genuinely wish to get up every morning feeling the same spark that I have felt for this past month. There hasn’t been a single day when I felt like sleeping in and missing work. I know after a few months I will feel like that most probably. So I want to document this to remind me of the days when I was brimming with passion. I just want to establish a strong foothold for the future me before I get too deep into this never-ending cycle that might become just a routine one day.

But I don’t know why feeling this good about a place feels like cheating on the other best places I have ever been to. It is not that deep, but it makes me look forward to how much happier I can be. All the hardships I faced during the past few months seem to be fading away these days. And this sometimes makes me worry that I might start taking all this for granted after some time. I know I have to make up for all the kindness shown by everyone around me and give my hundred percent to this new job. That means I should work way harder than I am now. So, let’s end this honeymoon phase with beautiful memories and mix a pinch of discipline in all that passion I have been feeling. Because someone told me- “great is just good mixed with ten percent extra effort”. And I want to go that extra mile now that I am already here. I hope I can look forward to more happy days filled with self-satisfaction as we inch toward the end of this beautiful year.

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Aging like a fine wine

Today I got to meet an amazing person. I have attended his webinars previously too and always have thought of him highly, but today was somewhat more inspiring. I think my mind is way too often influenced by the people I meet. I know this is how human beings typically behave. We all draw our inspiration from things going on around us. But I hope one day I become strong enough to gain control of my emotions up to a certain extent.


I hope I will be unbothered by the countless degrading remarks or my insecurities. I hope I will not fly too high with just one compliment. I know it’s great to feel that level of happiness from the smallest of gestures. But it also means that those small gestures can snatch away my happiness. It should be upon me to feel happy, not the environment I am living in. Of course, I would love to be amazed time and again by amazing things. But I want to keep that amazement within myself instead of those momentary peaks of happiness. Maybe I am getting too old to be thinking about all that. But recently I came to know the importance of continuity. I am more likely to act based on some momentary peaks of passion, doing whatever I feel like. But I got to know that if I try to do something with some discipline, much larger feats are achievable. And they will take me to whole different levels of emotions. Therefore, I am trying hard to bring some amount of discipline to my life.

Coming back to that amazing person, I think I am way too often amazed by older people. Maybe my perception of older people is wrong altogether. In my mind, I don’t expect too many aged people to be as welcoming and open to differences. Maybe I am too biased. I often wonder what I would be like when I get to that age. I hope I would be a person who radiates warmth, like the person I met today. I hope I would have the same amount of passion for learning. I hope it just grows day by day. Come to think of it, older people are more likely to be mature and knowledgeable just because of their invaluable experiences. And yet some people might think of them as a burden to society. I think they are the greatest assets. Of course, just old age doesn’t guarantee maturity. But if someone has survived so many years of life, I believe I can always learn a thing or two from them.

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